32(32). Miami Dolphins 0-6

Chad Henne is out for the season and Sage Rosenfels is out for at least this week and with Matt Moore dealing with bruised ribs the Dolphins have turned to…JP Losman. You can’t make these things up. Moore is expected to play this week against New York, but New York has an awesome pass rush and could knock Moore out of the game, bringing in Losman to play. That’s one way to Suck for Luck.

31(27). St. Louis Rams 0-6

As bad as the Rams were with Sam Bradford, they were even worse without him last week. AJ Feeley is one of the better backups in the league, but with poor receivers, a poor offensive line, and a poor defense supporting him, Feeley played terribly against Dallas in a huge loss. Meanwhile, St. Louis’ defense allowed 253 yards rushing to DeMarco Murray, a rookie making his first career start. Now they have New Orleans coming to town. St. Louis has scored 56 points this season. New Orleans scored 62 last week. Bradford is not expected to play this week either. It’s not like the Rams have anything to play for.

30(31). Indianapolis Colts 0-7

Remember when Mike Wilbon said the Colts could make the playoffs even if Peyton Manning missed the first 8 games. What we aren’t noticing because Manning is out is that the Colts wouldn’t even be that good with Manning. Remember, this team won 10 games last year even though Manning played very well. With Manning another year older, even if he had played all season this year, more than 10 wins would be tough. The Colts have done a very poor job of drafting in recent years, especially in the first round, but Manning has been masking it up. They’ll get a very, very high pick this year, which they need, but even if Manning returns next year at 100%, they’re in trouble for the future, especially with guys like Reggie Wayne and Robert Mathis being free agents after the season.

29(29). Minnesota Vikings 1-6

It’s amazing how much better this team has looked with Christian Ponder. Ponder might not be putting up better stats than McNabb was, but he’s moving the chains much better than McNabb was and more importantly, he’s energized these troops. It’s obviously too late for this season, but if Ponder keeps it up, the Vikings could be an annoying team down the stretch to potential playoff teams. Remember, even with McNabb, they only have 1 loss by more than 7 all season. If they draft well this year, they’re right back in the mix potentially next year.

28(30). Jacksonville Jaguars 1-6

I’ve called Derek Cox terrible on this site before and with good reason. No one knew who the hell he was when the Jaguars drafted him in the 3^rd round and his first 2 seasons weren’t very good either. However, in his 3^rd year in the league, Cox has been awesome. He’s been thrown on 14 times in 7 games and allowed just 4 catches for 32 yards. That being said, the Jaguars’ defense isn’t quite as good as the Ravens made it look last week and Blaine Gabbert is still very bad, at least right now. I’m not saying he doesn’t have a future, but his pocket presence is awful right now. He doesn’t look ready to be a starter in this league.

27(26). Arizona Cardinals 1-5

Kevin Kolb has been awful this season and the Cardinals sit here at 1-5. Remember, they were 5-11 last year with Derek Anderson and John Skelton at quarterback. They’ll get a few wins in divisional play (home vs. Seattle and home vs. St. Louis should be locks for them), but this is still not a very good team. At least they didn’t do something stupid like give Kevin Kolb 63 million over 5 years and give up a 2^nd rounder and a legitimate starting cornerback for him. Oh wait. The lesson, as always, never trade for an Andy Reid quarterback. He always makes them look better than they are (McNabb, AJ Feeley, Kolb).

26(21). Washington Redskins 3-3

The Redskins are in absolute free fall right now. Two weeks ago they were coming out of the bye at 3-1. Now they’re 3-3 after Rex Grossman was rightfully benched after a 4 interception performance against Philadelphia. Tim Hightower is done for the season with a torn ACL and Santana Moss will miss at least a month with injury. They’re technically only 1 game back of the Giants for first place, tied with Dallas for 2^nd, and 1 game above Philadelphia, but this is the worst team in that division.

25(25). Carolina Panthers 2-5

Carolina is one spot above Washington, who has a better record than them, because Carolina just beat Washington and because Washington is a mess right now. Cam Newton has faced a very tough schedule for a rookie this season, but after beating Washington last week, the Panthers have a chance to get two wins in a row against Minnesota this week. The bad news, the Panthers have lost their best run blocker, Jeff Otah, for the season for the 2^nd straight year

24(23). Seattle Seahawks 2-4

Just when you thought Clipboard Jesus was turning things around. Charlie Whitehurst was absolutely terrible and couldn’t move the chains at all last season before their win against St. Louis in the season finale and he looked decent against the Giants, taking over for an injured Tarvaris Jackson. Last week, Whitehurst was terrible again, completing just 12 of his 30 passes for 97 yards (3.2 YPA) in a 6-3 loss to Cleveland that will go down in the record books as one of the worst games ever to watch. It’s going to be on ESPN Classic in hell.

23(24). Denver Broncos 2-4

TEBOW! I don’t understand why all the hate for this kid. All he did was win in college and he’s kept his team competitive in 5 of the 6 games he’s played significant time in, including week 5 against San Diego when he came in down in 16 and almost led a game winning drive. The only game the Broncos weren’t competitive in was Tebow’s first start, against Oakland, in which Tebow only got to 16 throws time even though his starting running back was averaging less than 1.5 yards per carry. The defense also allowed 39 points in that one. Maybe the haters will shut up if Tebow beats the reeling Detroit Lions this week (upset special).

22(28). Kansas City Chiefs 3-3

And the Chiefs have become one of the most overrated teams in the league again. It’s amazing, even though they beat absolutely no one of note last year and got embarrassed in the playoffs, everyone thinks the Chiefs are awesome again at 3-3 even though their 3 wins this year were against Indianapolis (no wins), Minnesota (1 win), and the shit show that was the week 7 Oakland Raiders. I hope the Chargers destroy them this week, but then again, the Chargers seem to still be in early season form.

21(22). Cleveland Browns 3-3

It’ll be interesting to see what Colt McCoy’s future will be in Cleveland if he keeps this up. This is a very good year to need a quarterback with guys like Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin, Landry Jones, and Matt Barkley coming out and the Browns will be in position to take one of the 4 most likely. He hasn’t gotten much help for his receiver, but McCoy has completed just 58.2% of his passes for an average of 6.2 yards per with 14 touchdowns to 13 interceptions in his short career so far, and they only have a 3^rd round pick invested in him.

20(17). Tennessee Titans 3-3

I think we can all agree the Titans’ 3-1 start was a fluke. The Titans got 3 wins early against the Browns, the Broncos, and the Ravens (who, as we all know, are very proven to shitty performances), but in their last two games, the Titans have lost 79-24 to the Steelers and the Texans, two legitimate playoff teams. With Kenny Britt out and Chris Johnson averaging 2.9 yards per carry (how many Twinkies did he eat during his holdout), the Titans have no offensive playmakers and the defense isn’t playing well either.

19(16). Oakland Raiders 4-3

How’s that Carson Palmer deal working out? I know it was just his first start and he hadn’t been with the team that long, but that was predictable because he hadn’t been with the team that long. You can’t plug and play quarterbacks, especially when they’ve been sitting on their ass counting their money for 8 months and they weren’t very good to begin with. Between Palmer and Kyle Boller, the Raiders had 6 picks last week. In other news, Al Davis came back to live to fire Hue Jackson.

18(20). Cincinnati Bengals 4-2

On bye last week.

17(18). New York Giants 4-2

On bye last week.

16(19). Chicago Bears 4-3

The Bears move up fresh off of beating the Buccaneers in the NFL’s stupid London game. With the Lions in free fall, the Bears could be in position to take their playoff spot, but they’ll have to beat them to do it. I still have the Lions just a bit above the Bears because I don’t trust this offensive line and Jay Cutler is a sitting duck if they can’t run the football.

 

15(15). Dallas Cowboys 3-3

The Cowboys dominated the Rams, but then again the Rams suck so we didn’t learn anything about them. With Washington being terrible and New York having a brutal 2^nd half schedule, I think the Cowboys can win this division, but they’ll have to start by beating the Eagles this week, no easy task considering Andy Reid has only lost after a bye once since 1999 and that was the Super Bowl against the Patriots.

14(11). Tampa Bay Buccaneers 4-3

The Buccaneers take a step back after losing to the Bears in London. The Buccaneers are especially screwed over because that game technically counted as a home game even though they had to travel longer than any team has to travel for a road game. On top of that, the Falcons have looked 2 in two straight weeks and might be finding some of their 2010 form. The Buccaneers still have to go to New Orleans and Atlanta, two very tough places to win. I have them just out of the playoffs right now.

13(7). Detroit Lions 5-2

They can’t run the ball and they can’t stop the run, which means Matt Stafford has to be awesome every game for them to win and he is awesome a lot, especially with the weapons around him, but he’s starting to take a beating thanks to a poor job upfront by the offensive line. He might not play this week against Denver after suffering two injuries against Atlanta. The Lions are a young team reeling right now and I don’t know if they can bounce back. They still have to play San Diego and Green Bay (twice), along with a trip to Chicago, which won’t be easy.

12(14). New York Jets 4-3

Plaxico Burress is back! He caught 3 touchdowns against the Chargers! Not so fast, he only had 4 catches for 25 yards. All of his touchdowns were short stuff in the end zone, which isn’t easy, but he hardly had a huge game. The Jets should have lost that game, but the Chargers imploded, just like they should have lost to the Cowboys, but the Cowboys imploded. I’m still not sold on this team. Mark Sanchez is being asked to do too much and getting exposed.

11(5). Baltimore Ravens 4-2

Good Flacco, Bad Flacco. Good Flacco, in 3 games he’s combined to go 64 of 110 (58.1%) for 918 yards (8.3 YPA), 6 touchdowns, and 1 pick. In his other 3 he’s combined to go 46 of 101 (45.5%) for 497 yards (4.9 YPA), 2 touchdowns, and 4 picks. The good news is that Flacco hasn’t had two bad games in a row so he should bounce back against Arizona. The bad news is that he hasn’t had two good games in a row and they play the Steelers after that game. I think the Steelers are better right now and I can’t call the Ravens a legitimate contender unless I see more consistency from them.

10(12). Philadelphia Eagles 2-4

On bye last week.

9(8). Buffalo Bills 4-2

On bye last week.

8(13). Atlanta Falcons 4-3

With two nice wins over the Lions and the Panthers, the Falcons seem to be back in business. They still have home games against New Orleans and Tampa Bay remaining, as well as cakewalk home games against Tennessee, Minnesota, and Jacksonville. They also have road games at Indianapolis and at Carolina. That feels like 10 wins at least.

7(9). Houston Texans 4-3

The Texans just destroyed the Titans in Tennessee and it’s not like the Jaguars or the Colts are any good so they should win this division pretty easily. They’re getting Andre Johnson back and look at the rest of their schedule. Home for Jacksonville, home for Cleveland, at Tampa Bay, at Jacksonville, home for Houston, at Cincinnati, home for Carolina, at Indianapolis, home for Tennessee. I smell 11 wins.

6(10). Pittsburgh Steelers 5-2

Well look at this, two games after being written off following a loss in Houston and the Steelers are at 5-2 and in 2^nd place in the AFC. I don’t think their chances against New England this week, but they should be able to get revenge on the Ravens week 9. The Steelers might not be as dominant as they were last year, but they have continuity, experience, and an identity and in a down year for football in general, that’s enough to be a top 6 team and a legitimate Super Bowl contender.

5(6). San Francisco 49ers 5-1

On bye last week.

4(3). San Diego Chargers 4-2

I have the Chargers higher than the 49ers because I still think the Chargers can turn it on in the 2^nd half again. Also, Alex Smith is the 49ers quarterback. Alex Smith. I know the 49ers play disciplined football and awesome defense, but of the last 22 quarterbacks to win a Super Bowl, 21 had made a Pro Bowl before and the only one who didn’t was Eli Manning and he made one the very next year. I don’t think Smith is having a Pro Bowl type year unless like 7 guys decline, while Rivers has made Pro Bowls before. That’s why the Chargers are ranked higher.

3(4). New Orleans Saints 5-2

The Saints scored 62 points last week. The Rams have scored 56 all season. These two teams play each other this week. The Saints might win 62-7 yet again. They’re still not better than the Packers or the Patriots, who could have easily done the same thing to Indianapolis as the Saints did last week.

2(2). Green Bay Packers 7-0

The defense let the Vikings hang with them just like it let the Panthers hang with them. Their defense not being as elite as last year should be their only true concern right now, but I think this is still a 14-2 team. I think they lose at San Diego after the bye and one more (@ Detroit or maybe a random one). But I still have no reason to move the Patriots from #1.

1(1). New England Patriots 5-1

On bye last week.