32(32). Miami Dolphins 0-7

The Giants’ lazy defense made Matt Moore and Reggie Bush look like legitimate offensive weapons for the first 2 and a half quarters of their game against Miami, but the Giants still won after turning it on midway through the 3^rd. It’s pretty pathetic that this team lost to a team that didn’t even play half the game. This week, they go on the road for the overrated Chiefs and then they’re at home for the reeling Redskins. If they lose both of those games, 0-16 is definitely possible.

31(30). Indianapolis Colts 0-8

The Colts have punted so many times this year. You think they’d be able to do it without problems. However, a blocked punt led to a score against Tennessee in a 27-10 loss. Curtis Painter didn’t play bad or anything and the Colts actually had more yards than the Titans, but that special teams blunder, 10 penalties, and 2 interceptions (both of which weren’t fully Painter’s fault) lost the Colts that game. The only reason they’re 31^st instead of 32^nd is their division. Are you telling me this team can’t win home games against Tennessee and Jacksonville? They also have a home game against Carolina.

30(28). Jacksonville Jaguars 2-6

Cam Newton came out and said this week “we’d be undefeated if it wasn’t for my turnovers.” I think Blaine Gabbert should say something similar, “we’d be undefeated if it could complete a pass.” I’m only partially kidding. The Jaguars defense is surprisingly very good this season, but Gabbert is making it impossible for their offense to sustain drives, completing 45.7% of his passes, including 10 of 30 last week in a 24-14 loss to Houston. In 6 career starts, Gabbert has completed more than 50% of his passes, twice, thrown for more than 200 yards once, and thrown for fewer than 100 yards twice.

29(31). St. Louis Rams 1-6

Example # 467465 that this season doesn’t make any sense. Coming into last week’s game, the Rams had scored 56 points in 6 games. The Saints had scored 62 points this week before. The Rams were missing their starting quarterback. The Rams won. What!? The good news for the Rams is that their defense finally looked like what we thought it could and Brandon Lloyd seems comfortable in St. Louis’ scheme. Sam Bradford is expected to play back this week and with 4 games left against Seattle and Arizona, as well as a trip to Cleveland, they could easily finish 4-12 or 5-11 with momentum heading into next season and a lot of interesting pieces, as well as a top 10 draft pick.

28(26). Washington Redskins 3-4

Rex Grossman has been benched for good reason. John Beck isn’t much better. Tim Hightower is gone for the season. Santana Moss is going to miss at least a month. Their offensive line has several injuries, including left tackle Trent Williams, and allowed 9 sacks last week to a Bills team that had just 4 in 6 games coming in. Chris Cooley is done for the year and Fred Davis might miss this week. This team is terrible and doesn’t have a lot of opportunities left to win games this season (@ Miami, @ Seattle, vs. Minnesota). Mike Shanahan vouched for Grossman and Beck. Could he be on the hot seat?

27(25). Carolina Panthers 2-6

Cam Newton said this week that the Panthers would be undefeated if not for his turnovers. I love this kids’ attitude. He’s his toughest critic and he takes everything upon himself. It’s hard to believe that he had the label of “character problem” back in April before the draft. On top of this, he’s got awesome talent and has adapted to an NFL system way quicker than almost anyone predicted he could. The Panthers have a very tough schedule this season, which is why they’re only 2-6, but this is a team with a lot of hope for the future.

26(27). Arizona Cardinals 1-6

The Cardinals lost to the Ravens, blowing a huge 21 point lead in the process, because Kevin Kolb is more horrific than Joe Flacco. Kolb was 10 of 21 for 153 yards, 1 touchdown, and a pick. He also took 6 sacks and held the ball way too long. On top of that, he had a pick dropped and a pick called back after a penalty. The only reason the Cardinals scored 28 points in a 31-28 loss was because of a punt return for a touchdown, and two Raven turnovers deep in their own territory.

Now the Cardinals head home to face the Rams, which shouldn’t be a hard game, but Kolb might not even play with turf toe, instead, John Skelton, who completed 44% of his passes last season, will get the start. Cardinal fans better hope turf toe is Kolb’s problem right now, otherwise, they’re right where they were last season, only missing a 2^nd rounder, a starting cornerback, and at least 21 million in guaranteed money.

25(23). Denver Broncos 2-5

So John Fox comes up with a “custom game plan” for Tebow and Tebow goes 18 of 39 for 172 yards, a touchdown, and a pick in a 45-10 loss to Detroit. The game plan did not suit Tebow’s strengths at all. Either Fox is a moron (possible) or an evil genius bent on running Tebow out of town (also possible). The latter makes sense because the other John, John Elway, stupidly traded Tebow’s best receiver for a 5^th rounder even though he could have gotten at least a 4^th rounder for him as compensation had he left as a free agent. Either way, I haven’t given up on Tebow. He had a terrible game, but that was the first start he had where the Broncos weren’t competitive. Now the Broncos go to Oakland and play the equally dysfunctional Raiders.

24(24). Seattle Seahawks 2-5

And here I thought the Seahawks were turning into a maybe sort of decent and legitimate football team after beating Arizona, hanging with Atlanta, and beating the Giants in New York. However, since their bye, they lost 6-3 to the Browns in a game that will be on ESPNClassic in hell and then they lost 34-12 at home to Cincinnati. Charlie Whitehurst further proved that his week 17 performance last year was a fluke by completing 48.2% of his passes this season and Tarvaris Jackson was only slightly less shitty.

23(29). Minnesota Vikings 2-6

This team has looked so much better in 2 games with Christian Ponder and remember, they only lost 1 game by double figures even with Donovan McNabb. They’ve got nice pieces for the future and they should not be taken lightly for the rest of this season. I think they’re one of the league’s worst underrated teams.

22(21). Cleveland Browns 3-4

If the Browns have an opportunity to take a quarterback like Landry Jones or Matt Barkley or Robert Griffin, it’ll be interesting to see if they take it. Colt McCoy isn’t horrible, but it’s obvious this team isn’t going anywhere with him at quarterback. He’s just too physically limited. Holmgren did draft him, but he did it with his 5^th pick of his 2010 NFL Draft class, meaning he’s hardly in love with him. If he was, he would have taken him in the 2^nd, rather than let him slip all the way to the late 3^rd.

21(22). Kansas City Chiefs 4-3

In the past two years, the Chiefs are 14-9. However, they have just 4 wins over teams that either had .500 or better records last year or currently have .500 or better records. Those 4 wins, the week 1 San Diego Chargers in 2010 in a game where Matt Cassel threw for 68 yards, the 2010 Jacksonville Jaguars starting Todd Bouman, their 3^rd string quarterback, the shit show that was the week 7 Oakland Raiders, and the choking Chargers last week. Meanwhile, legitimate teams like the 2010 Oakland Raiders, the Ravens, the Bills, and the Lions all beat them by 20+. For this reason, they are incredibly overrated. However, with home games against Miami and Denver in their next 2 weeks, it’s possible they could be 6-3.

20(19). Oakland Raiders 4-3

On bye last week.

19(20). Tennessee Titans 4-3

The Titans might be 4-3, but they’re not as good as they’re record says. They got to 3-1 by beating up on teams like Cleveland, Denver, and the Jekyll and Hyde Baltimore Ravens. Then Pittsburgh smashed them. Then Houston smashed them. Last week the Colts outgained them, but shot themselves in the foot in a 27-10 loss. Kenny Britt is hurt. Chris Johnson is…I don’t even know. Matt Hasselbeck can’t do it by himself offensive and their defense isn’t anywhere near good enough to compensate.

18(17). New York Giants 5-2

If the Giants have trouble with the likes of Miami and Seattle at home, I don’t see how they’re going to survive @ New England, @ San Francisco, vs. Philadelphia, @ New Orleans, and vs. Green Bay any better than 6-6 and then after that they still have to play Dallas twice and the Jets. Remember, this team would be 4-3 right now if the refs don’t made a stupid call in their game against Arizona that allowed the Giants to get the game winning score and their most impressive win is a field goal win at home over Buffalo. That’s why I can’t buy them winning this division

17(15). Dallas Cowboys 3-4

The Cowboys got thumped on national television last week against Philadelphia as the Dream Team looked like the Dream Team, putting up 34 points offensively while holding the Cowboys to 7 points as Asante Samuel and Nnamdi Asomugha completely took Dez Bryant and Miles Austin, holding them to 55 total receiving yards combined. However, I think that’s more of the Eagles being awesome than the Cowboys being terrible. They’re still a decent, middle of the run team that should have no problem at home against Seattle this week.

 

16(14). Tampa Bay Buccaneers 4-3

On bye last week.

15(17). Chicago Bears 4-3

On bye last week.

14(8). Atlanta Falcons 4-3

On bye last week.

13(18). Cincinnati Bengals 5-2

Going into Seattle and beating the Seahawks by 22 is impressive. I know the Seahawks suck, but they’ve sucked for a few years and they still haven’t lost by this big of a margin at home since week 9 last year. The Bengals now sit at 5-2 and though they haven’t beaten anyone of note, they’re still playing solid football and they get two test games coming up with division rivals Pittsburgh and Baltimore. If they win those games, they’d be in the drivers’ seat in this division, though I’m conservatively ranking them here for now.

12(12). New York Jets 4-3

On bye last week.

11(11). Baltimore Ravens 5-2

And here I thought the Ravens were inconsistent. Congratulations to them by proving me wrong by playing terrible football in two straight weeks. Joe Flacco is having a similar season to Philip Rivers, but unlike Rivers’, no one is really asking if he’s hurt and the reason for that is, Flacco doesn’t have Rivers’ track record. Given this, I don’t think he’s all that likely to turn it around and as good as the Ravens running game and defense is, that’ll only get them so far.

10(4). San Diego Chargers 4-3

Another year, another poor start to the season by the San Diego Chargers. The good news, even last year when they missed the playoffs, they went 7-2 after starting 2-5 and 4-3 is still one of their better starts in the Norv Turner era. The bad news is, Philip Rivers has never played this poorly before and there’s no guarantee they can turn it on in the 2^nd half again. Obviously, keeping it close with Green Bay or winning against Green Bay this week would do a lot for them and convince me to move them back up, but for now, they’re down here.

9(10). Philadelphia Eagles 3-4

Andy Reid teams never start well. Besides, with so many new players and new assistant coaches, it was predictable that this team would play poorly to start. However, they looked like the Dream Team last week and now they get games against Chicago (Andy Reid is 14-7 all time on MNF) and Arizona, both at home. This is the favorite in the NFC East as far as I’m concerned.

8(13). Detroit Lions 6-2

Credit the young Lions for bouncing back off of back to back home losses as favorites to pulverize the Broncos in Denver 45-10. That win will have the morale high for this emotional young team heading into the bye and that should result in them playing very good football once more coming out of the bye as they head to Chicago for a rematch with the Bears.

7(7). Houston Texans 5-3

After wins over the Titans and the Jaguars, the Texans now sit at 5-3 in one of the weakest divisions in football. More good news, they’ve been doing this without Andre Johnson who will be back soon. However, the Matt Schaub has won 3 in a row just 3 times in his career, 56 starts and while the Browns might not look like much coming to Houston this week, this year has proven that anything can happen in the National Football League.

6(9). Buffalo Bills 5-2

After managing just 4 sacks in their first 6 games, the Bills has 9 against the Redskins last week without two of their best defensive players, Kyle Williams and Shawne Merriman. I know the Redskins suck, but that has to be good for their confidence, including the confidence of rookie Marcell Dareus, who had 2.5 sacks last week. Now they get a huge divisional game at home against the Jets as they try to improve to 2-0 in the division with wins over the Jets and the Pats.

5(3). New Orleans Saints 5-3

The Saints suck on the road. I knew they sucked on the road, but I didn’t realize it was this bad. There’s no excuse for losing to AJ Feeley and the Rams in St. Louis. This team is in trouble if they have to go to Green Bay or even San Francisco in the playoffs. But for now, they look to reassert their control of the division by getting revenge at home against the Buccaneers, who beat them in Tampa Bay a fe weeks ago.

4(5). San Francisco 49ers 6-1

6-1 is impressive, but let’s see them play a team like the Steelers before we move them into the top 3, which everyone seems to be doing. Their signature wins are both against young teams off of Monday Night wins, unless you include the discombobulated Eagles week 4. They’re a very good team, but I don’t think they’re elite. Fortunately, this is 2011. There’s way less elite teams than any normal year. That’s why teams like the 49ers and the Bills are 4^th and 6^th in these Power Rankings. If you have a solid quarterback, run the ball, play defense and don’t make mistakes, you’re doing better than most of the league.

3(6). Pittsburgh Steelers 6-2

Steelers are below the Patriots, but it was a tough one. Yes, Pittsburgh won last week, but who would have won in Foxboro? As far as I’m concerned, the Packers are the only team that can beat the Patriots in Foxboro. Had these teams been playing this week on a neutral field, I think the Patriots would win. That’s just my opinion. It was close and I would like to congratulate the Steelers on going from “old and slow” to elite in just 3 weeks, even with all the injuries they had.

2(1). New England Patriots 5-2

Simply put, Tom Brady wasn’t going to repeat 2010. I don’t care how you are, you don’t throw just 4 picks in a season twice in a row. The defense had to get better, but because of the stupid lockout, Belichick had just 7 weeks to put in a whole new defensive scheme with plenty of new players and the defense hasn’t gotten better. In fact, they’ve probably gotten worse. At least last year they could produce turnovers. I still really like this team, but Aaron Rodgers would throw for 700 yards on them if they met in the Super Bowl. Which is why…

1(2). Green Bay Packers 7-0

I’ve put the Packers #1. They’re not as perfect as everyone says. They’ve have a bottom 3^rd of the league defense in terms of yards allowed without having faced an elite defense since week 1 and they’ve had a pretty cushy schedule, but their offense is so efficient and overall, they’re better than any other team in the league.