32(32). Seattle Seahawks 1-2

Seattle stays in the cellar despite a win. The magic of Qwest field was going to win them a few games this year, especially since they play in a division where the teams are 7-30 straight up on the road in the past 2 years. However, I still can’t see them winning a non-divisional game or a road game within the division so I can’t see any more than 2 or 3 wins for them. They still lead the Andrew Luck sweepstakes in my book.

31(31). Kansas City Chiefs 0-3

In the official book, the Chiefs seem to lead the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. They are one of 5 0-3 teams and are probably the worst of the bunch. They gave the early season Chargers a scare last week after Philip Rivers nearly handed them the game, but they held on for the loss, unlike Seattle. Their next test in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes is a pair of 0-3 teams who also almost won last week, Minnesota and Indianapolis.

30(30). Jacksonville Jaguars 1-2

The Jaguars do have a win, but they’re also averaging 9.7 points per game and have had 3 different starting quarterbacks this month, if you include Garrard, who everyone thought was the starter heading into the season. Their defense has kept them in some games, but there’s still not a lot of talent there. Remember, they’ve played Matt Hasselbeck, Mark Sanchez, and Cam Newton in a monsoon. Drew Brees will be a bit of a different test for them this week.

29(28). Cincinnati Bengals 1-2

And here I thought the Bengals could actually win a surprising amount of games this season with their defense, their running game, their weak schedule, and Andy Dalton game managing things. Their defense looked great last week, but that might have just been San Francisco. However, their offense scored a mere 8 points last week, 2 off a safety and 3 off a field goal after a Frank Gore fumble.

28(26). Miami Dolphins 0-3

The only thing Miami has to look forward to is that Tony Sparano could be fired soon. I think Sparano is one of the early contenders to get fired first this season along with Todd Haley and Jack Del Rio. There was no way this season was going to go well for the Dolphins. Anytime you try and fail to replace both your starting quarterback and your head coach in the offseason, you have a team full of guys questioning the leadership. Sparano’s replacement will find a new starting quarterback this offseason and the team will start over, trying to find a suitable replacement for Dan Marino, who retired all those years ago.

27(27). Denver Broncos 1-2

What was John Fox thinking going for it on 4^th and goal with the lead? This is normally one of the most conservative men in the league, to a fault at times. He refuses to play rookies and he loves running the ball more than anything, but he goes for it on 4^th down with the lead when they’ve struggled to convert short yardage plays all season? That could be the difference between this team being 1-2 and 2-1. Not like it matters. This team is going 5-11 either way. Might as well play Tebow. I say it every week. Why not play him?

26(25). Carolina Panthers 1-2

After throwing for 422 yards and 432 yards in two straight losses to open his career, Cam Newton decided that if this team was going to win, he was going to have to play worse. That’s exactly what he did, throwing for 158 yards in a monsoon win over the Jacksonville Jaguars. Newton becomes the 6^th quarterback drafted in the first round to win week 3 in the last 6 instances. Maybe there’s something to this whole, 3^rd time’s the charm thing.

25(23). Minnesota Vikings 0-3

Someone should tell Donovan McNabb games are 2 halves long. It’s unclear if he understands that part of the rulebook. I mean he doesn’t know games can end in ties. Maybe he doesn’t know how many quarters a game is. The Vikings have blown leads to teams with winning records in each of their first 3 games, though I guess we can’t entirely blame McNabb. Head Coach Leslie Frazier seems to subscribe to the Todd Haley philosophy that you shouldn’t use your best players. Percy Harvin has been moved out of the starting lineup and into the slot permanently, playing only about 50-60% of the team’s offensive snaps, while 100 million dollar man Adrian Peterson got just 8 2^nd half carries in a game the Vikings were leading at halftime last week. The Vikings better hope a trip to Kansas City is just what the doctor ordered this week.

24(20). St. Louis Rams 0-3

Bill Simmons thinks St. Louis can start 0-7 and win this division anyway. I prefer to subscribe to the notion that Arizona or San Francisco wins it with 6, but I’m not in complete disagreement with Simmons. St. Louis faces Washington, Green Bay, Dallas, and New Orleans in their next 4 before the schedule gets easier. In the end, I think this miserable bunch gets a small win this week against Washington and finishes in 3^rd at 5-11.

23(21). Tennessee Titans 2-1

I made a prop bet that Kenny Britt would have more than 5 touchdowns this year (5!!!). Britt had 3 through 2 games and I felt I was in the clear here until Britt tore both his ACL and his MCL last week, ending his season. Considering Chris Johnson decided to stink it up this season, this team might be now completely lacking any offensive playmakers. Speaking of Johnson he has 98 yards on 46 carries this year and was outgained by the punter last week, who had one carry for 21 yards. In other news, Titans punter Brett Kern is now holding out, demanding top playmaker type money.

22(24). Indianapolis Colts 0-3

Curtis Painter entered the game for the Colts with a career quarterback rating of 9.8 (I don’t know what that is on ESPN’s fancy schmancy QBR, but I’m guessing it’s about a -5) last week when Kerry Collins went down. The commentators said he was prepared because, even though he didn’t take any reps in practice, he had been taking mental reps. This makes sense because he came out and threw an inaccurate pass to a wide open wide receiver who would have had a touchdown that would have won them the game. But that’s okay because that’s a mental completion and in Curtis Painter’s head they won that game.

21(29). San Francisco 49ers 2-1

Why do I get the feeling the 49ers could win this division with 6 wins? Arizona, St. Louis, and Seattle all seem pretty terrible and the 49ers might have the right combination of an opportunistic defense and an easy schedule to win the 6 or 7 games it looks like it’s going to take to win this division. I have Arizona ahead of them for now because Arizona has a very easily schedule as well, but that could change soon.

20(22). Oakland Raiders 2-1

The Raiders aren’t as good as their 2-1 record, with one loss to a 3-0 team, would suggest. They won an ugly game against the lowly Broncos. They blew a big lead in Buffalo. Last week, they caught the Jets napping and looking forward to Baltimore next week. The Patriots should put the Raiders in their place this week after a loss to Buffalo last week. New England is deadly off of a loss. Once they get blown out, maybe people will stop talking about how much this team has improved after losing 3 of their best players. San Diego is still better than them in the division.

19(16). Arizona Cardinals 1-2

Arizona had 4 backs heading out of the lockout. Tim Hightower is gone, traded to Washington. Ryan Williams is done for the season. Chris Wells and Laron Stephens-Howling missed last week so they went with Alfonso Smith as their starting running back. I had no idea who that was so I googled him. My computer laughed at me. Even more embarrassing, Smith started over Chester Taylor, who had a mere 6 carries last week. That’s a good sign you should hang ‘em up Chester.

18(14). Chicago Bears 1-2

Jay Cutler wasn’t sacked as many times as he could have been against Green Bay, but the Bears didn’t look very good in a home loss to the Packers, rushing for 13 yards on 12 carries (2 yards on 9 carries by Forte). The Packers didn’t focus on getting to Cutler, instead focusing on neutralizing Forte’s impact on the game and it worked. Forte is their only offensive playmaker and their offensive line can’t block a plastic bag. That’s not a good recipe for success in the NFL.

17(17). Cleveland Browns 2-1

The Browns have proven they can beat bad teams. With Tennessee, Oakland, Seattle, and San Francisco in their next 4, this team could somehow be sitting up 5-2 heading into Houston week 9. The schedule gets tougher from there. However, if they lose to those bad teams like they did week 1 to Cincinnati, well that’s just embarrassing.

 

16(19). New York Giants 2-1

Continuing their history of first half success, the Giants put together an injury plagued win over the Eagles week 3. Their 2^nd half (San Francisco, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Green Bay, Dallas, Washington, the Jets, and Dallas) still has to be scary, but I’m very impressed with their ability to bounce back after week 1 and after all of their injuries and personnel losses in the offseason.

15(18). Washington Redskins 2-1

I was sure how to rank the 3 2-1 teams in the NFC East (I still like Philadelphia to win it). However, Dallas beat Washington who beat New York so they line up in order here. The Redskins have to be hoping that Grossman isn’t regressing. They have the Rams this week and if he is regressing, they could easily be caught off guard by a Rams team playing for their dignity after getting blown out at home last week.

14(13). Dallas Cowboys 2-1

Can we lay off Tony Romo? He throws for 300 yards and 2 touchdowns against the Jets in a game that his special teams blew. He leads a comeback with a cracked rib against San Francisco and then he beats Washington despite 4 botched snaps by Phil Costa and Kevin Ogletree consistently running the wrong route. The Cowboys better get their act together during the week because the 3-0 Lions are coming to town with all of their pass rushers aiming for Romo’s ribs and 4-0.

13(11). Pittsburgh Steelers 2-1

With 3 turnovers against Indianapolis, the Steelers now have 10 turnovers on the season despite playing Seattle and Indianapolis in 2 of their 3 games. They had to put injured players back into the game on the offensive line against Indy and would have lost had Curtis Painter not missed a wide open man for a touchdown. Now they have to go into Houston. I’m feeling pretty confident about leaving Pittsburgh out of the playoffs in my preseason picks.

12(10). Atlanta Falcons 1-2

This team could easily be 0-3 if Michael Vick doesn’t get hurt week 3. A trip to Seattle should be just what the doctor ordered, but remember Seattle is good at home and Atlanta has had its struggles on the road. A trip to Seattle should bring them back to 2-2, but they have to be worried. Tampa Bay looks better than them and it looks like Detroit and Green Bay are both making the playoffs out of the North. That doesn’t leave a spot for them.

11(12). Tampa Bay Buccaneers 2-1

The Buccaneers got a huge win last week and have lost just 1 game, to Detroit, by 7. Last week’s win could easily be the difference between playoffs and no playoffs in a few months. 6 quarters ago, they looked like a classic sophomore slump team, now they look like a team that is just getting better as they mature. Now they get a huge Monday Night Game against Indianapolis. Hopefully their fans actually show up.

10(9). New York Jets 2-1

The Jets got embarrassed in Oakland in a game that just meant more to Oakland than it did to them. Now is the real test, a trip to Baltimore followed by a trip to New England. They lost to both Baltimore and New England last year so you know Rex Ryan is trying to sell those games to his players as revenge games. If he can do that like he did before their playoff games against the Colts and against the Pats last year, the Jets could end up at 4-1 with 2 impressive wins. This is clearly a huge stretch for a team that hasn’t beaten anyone of note yet.

9(15). Buffalo Bills 3-0

The Bills are for real. Anyone we doesn’t think so just needs to ask Tom Brady. Can they stay in first in the AFC East? I don’t think so. Do I have them making the playoffs now? You bet. Ryan Fitzpatrick is the perfect fit for Chan Gailey’s scheme and Fred Jackson just keeps getting better. I’m interested to see how they handle the post huge win situation this week against Cincinnati. Do they still have enough of a chip on their schedule to get to 4-0 convincingly against the lowly Bengals? The last question this team has to answer is how do they handle success?

8(4). Philadelphia Eagles 1-2

The Eagles are a mess right now, but they can get things together. Michael Vick’s hand isn’t broken and he should play this week against San Francisco and they’re still the most talented team in the division. However, there’s not a lot of room for error now at 1-2, a game back of 3 solid teams in New York, Dallas, and Washington.

7(6). San Diego Chargers 2-1

The Chargers are rumored to be pressing so much to win in the early part of the season that they’re playing badly. Chargers fans have to be concerned after barely beating Kansas City and Minnesota in San Diego. What if this team can’t get it together in the 2^nd half again? The good news, the schedule doesn’t get any tougher for them in the coming weeks. They have Miami this week (0-3), and then Denver (1-2) and following a tough game against the Jets, they get the Chiefs (0-3) again.

6(8). Detroit Lions 3-0

The Lions are one of three teams still undefeated, a surprise 3-0 team along with Buffalo. The bad news, division rival Green Bay is the 3^rd 3-0 team. They’re not getting this division unless they can beat Green Bay head to head twice and I don’t think they can do that. However, they could definitely end up a 11 or 12 team wild card and not a team you want to face in the playoffs.

5(5). Houston Texans 2-1

Houston did what they do best last week, they blew a big lead. However, New Orleans is a quality opponent and they still played well. They have the ability to get things together heading forward. However, they have to make sure that blowing leads doesn’t become a trend for them again this year. Their 2-0 start before the New Orleans game should mean nothing to them. They started 2-0 last year and ended 6-10. Besides, they haven’t beaten anyone of note yet. Needless to say, their home game against the Pittsburgh Steelers this week is going to be huge.

4(7). Baltimore Ravens 2-1

You think the Ravens didn’t like losing to the Titans? Sam Bradford and company didn’t know what hit them last week and the Ravens appear to have found their #2 receiver, rookie Torrey Smith, who now has more touchdown catches (3) already than former Maryland teammate and 7^th overall pick Darrius Heyward Bey has in his whole career (2). Smith did that in 1 quarter against St. Louis.

3(3). New Orleans Saints 2-1

The Saints stay right where they were last week after a hard fought home win against a quality Houston team. This team is an offensive machine, scoring 30+ in 9 of their last 12, including the playoffs. Now they face a Jacksonville team this week that is averaging less than 10 per game this season. Can we just make them 3-1 already?

2(2). Green Bay Packers 3-0

The Packers have yet to play a truly dominating game yet. It’s safe to say I wouldn’t want to be Denver heading in Green Bay next week. Aaron Rodgers is still playing out of his mind and the defense is going to get it together, even with a nasty neck injury to Nick Collins. Rodgers also has all the weapons in the world, led by Greg Jennings and the always amazing (when healthy) Jermichael Finley.

1(1). New England Patriots 2-1

This may be controversial, but I picked them at the beginning of the season and I’m leaving them here. No one’s perfect. They were going to lose a game at some point. The Packers were my preseason pick last year. They lost week 3. I didn’t move them. Look how that turned out. The Patriots still have the talent to get it done and they might not lose for a while if you look at their schedule and how they normally respond after a loss.