31. Buffalo Bills 4-11

After years of extensive study, the New England Patriots have concluded that the Buffalo Bills…suck. The Bills have not beaten the Patriots since week 1 of the 2003 season and this last one was ugly. Brady only threw for 140 yards because he didn’t need to throw for anymore. The Pats got 217 rushing yards and forced 7 Bills turnovers.

The bad news for the Bills, the end of their troubles might not be close. They aren’t going to get the #1 pick and Andrew Luck, who is lightyears ahead of every other quarterback in this class right now, so if they want an upgrade over Ryan Fitzpatrick, who has proven himself to not be a franchise signal caller, they have to choose between Cam Newton, Ryan Mallett, and Jake Locker. Oh, and just to bring it up again, CJ Spiller and Aaron Maybin are busts. I know, I know, beating a dead horse, but still.

30. Cincinnati Bengals 4-11

I’ve lost 7 units in the past 2 weeks betting against the Bengals, so naturally I tried to figure out why they were playing well. This is what I came up with. Jerome Simpson, Andre Caldwell, and Jermaine Gresham, the Bengals young receivers, are playing with a lot more heart than Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens, who are both currently injured. This is making things easier for Carson Palmer, who incidentally, is always at his best in December home games.

The defense also has something to do with it. Their secondary is getting stabilized after being hit with injuries and the combination of Leon Hall and Johnathan Joseph are now as tough to throw on as they were last year. The emergence of rookie Carlos Dunlap on the defensive line (8 sacks in 7 games) has also helped tremendously.

This is all good news for the Bengals next year. They aren’t going to be able to get Andrew Luck, but I think they can get away with bringing back Carson Palmer for another year, with a raw rookie behind him (Terrelle Pryor?). With the way these young receivers are playing, there is no need to bring back Terrell Owens or Chad Ochocinco, which saves them a ton of money. They also don’t need to draft a receiver in the first round and can instead focus on defense early.

29. Denver Broncos 4-11

For the Broncos write up, I will do a little Merril Hoge impersonation.

“Tim Tebow is 25 for 46 for 449 yards, 3 touchdowns, and a pick, along with 133 yards and 5 scores on the ground, with a 1-1 record, despite having a running backs coach as his head coach and offensive coordinator. But he holds the ball too long. He will never be a good NFL quarterback.”

Hoge just needs to admit he was wrong about this kid. He’s doing everything he was doing in college, throwing, running, leading drives, playing with passion, and winning games. He has to be their starter in 2011 and with a better coach brought in to coach him up (Jon Gruden?) and another offseason of hard work, he should have a very good year next year.

I don’t think they need to keep Kyle Orton on as a backup, which means they can try to trade him for a mid round pick, which they can use to help give their defense a much needed boost. For a franchise coming off the distrastrous Josh McDumass era, they have to be pleased with their progress in the last 2 games.

28. Cleveland Browns 5-10

Now is the time we start worrying about Colt McCoy. The 3^rd round rookie looked like the 2^nd coming of Steve Young before he got hurt. Since he’s returned, he’s struggled,with losses against Cincinnati and Baltimore, who intercepted me 3 times. He’s having the same problems that scared scouts off and forced him to drop into the 3^rd round, lack of arm strength, inability to make reads.

The Browns, who haven’t had a good quarterback in over a decade, have to hope that an offseason of work, resting that ankle, help in the receiving corps, and maybe an upgrade at head coach, is all McCoy needs to get his promising young career back on track. I didn’t like McCoy out of college, but I actually want to be wrong about this one. I feel sorry for this team and especially this city after the LeBron James “Decision.”

27. Houston Texans 5-10

Citizens of Houston have organized a demonstration against Texans coach Gary Kubiak and I don’t blame them. This team has seemingly forgotten how to win. Whether they go down big early, comeback, only to lose in the end, or build a big lead and blow it late and lose, or on a Hail Mary, this team is seemingly inventing new ways to lose. They’ve been doing this for years (they could have easily been 13-3 if they didn’t mess up late last year) and the blame finally needs to fall on the coach.

Also, I’d like to vent about Andre Johnson’s injury and I know some of my readers can definitely agree with that. I lost my fantasy championship, scoring my season’s lowest total, because he didn’t play. I know you’re probably thinking, he was badly hurt and had been producing all year, you can’t complain. Well to that I say, I lost, I can complain.

26. Arizona Cardinals 5-10

Apparently we were all bad this year because for Christmas we got to listen to Matt Millen, Bob Papa, and Joe Thiesmann nonsenseically call a matchup between John Skelton and Stephen McGee, on a special edition of Thursday Night Football. And what was with that? A special edition of Thursday Night Football? Couldn’t you just call it Saturday Night Football NFL Network? Does that mean if someone goes out drinking on Saturday Night it’s just a special form of Thirsty Thursday? I guess I shouldn’t expect any better from a network that employs Matt Millen.

25. San Francisco 49ers 5-10

I believe I’m in the minority when I say this, but I disagree with the firing of Mike Singletary. Yes, his handling of the quarterback position this year was pretty stupid, but it’s not like he was benching a good quarterback for a bad one. There wasn’t a good one on this team. If they had a good quarterback, I trust that Mike Singletary would have started him.

His pros drastically outweighed his cons. He had this team playing tough for him every week and is an excellent motivator, which is the single most important quality a coach can have. Also, for those of you who blame Singletary for this team’s lack of a good quarterback, I say this. First, it’s not solely his decision on who to draft. Secondly, the only opportunity he would have had to draft a good quarterback early would have been Josh Freeman, unless 49ers fans want Jimmy Clausen. How many people in the world, other than Freeman’s friends and family, would have taken Freeman over Crabtree in 2009? 2? 3? Can’t blame him for that one.

24. Dallas Cowboys 5-10

Their loss to the Cardinals looked like an old Wade Phillips coached game, especially the way it ended, with the Cowboys losing by 1 because kicker David “Ferris” Buehler missed a PAT after a nice late touchdown by 3^rd string quarterback Stephen McGee. However, unlike the Phillips era, this wasn’t Jason Garrett’s fault. His team played tough nonetheless and nearly won with their 3^rd string quarterback. I still say Garrett deserves the job in 2011, unless Bill Cowher calls Jerry Jones up and expresses interest in the position. I don’t think you can say no in that situation.

23. Minnesota Vikings 6-9

I was originally going to blast the NFL’s handling of the Philly/Minnesota game in the Eagles’ write up, but instead I want to blast the Eagles in the Eagles’ writeup, so I’ll do that here. The move made no sense. The snow in Philadelphia this weekend wasn’t worst that want some games have been played in in the past.

Even the governor of Pennsylvania called Goodell and company “wussies” for not playing the game. Anytime a politician is not politically correct (the correct word is wussially challenged), you know you really messed up.

The NFL played a game last week on grass that was frozen and “unplayable” in Minnesota, according to Chris Kluwe, who was reportedly told to shut up by the commissioner’s office after his comment. Several players got hurt in that game, so Kluwe’s comment was proven to have some basis.

The NFL is going to have a cold weather Super Bowl in a few years, which, if the NFL gets its way, will be played in mid to late February (with expansion to an 18 game season). That’s normally a terrible weather time. What are they going to do? Postpone the Super Bowl?

Once again, Roger Goodell and company made a decision for, surprise, surprise, the money. Two more days gave Brett Favre a chance to rest his concussion (which ironically was suffered when his head hit the “unplayable” field in Minnesota last week), so the NFL could give America what it really wanted, Brett Favre vs. Michael Vick, instead of Joe Webb and Michael Vick, and make more money in the process. Favre didn’t end up playing and Webb actually did a nice job in an improbable Philadelphia victory, so the NFL’s plan didn’t work, but that has to be the reason why the move was made.

22. Detroit Lions 5-10

I said this last week, but I’ll say it again. This team has a chance to be really good next year. They’re riding a 3 game winning streak right now (when was the last time that happened for the Lions?) with a game against the Vikings next week that gives them a good shot to go 6-10 on the season, despite rarely having Matt Stafford, and despite a bunch of close losses.

With Stafford coming back next year, assuming his glass shoulder doesn’t get injured again, and a top 10 draft pick coming up, they have a very bright future. I’m really intrigued to see if this team can put it all together next year, because if they can, this is a playoff team.

21. Seattle Seahawks 6-9

The Seahawks have to have set the record for the worst team to ever be alive in the playoff race week 17. They are 6-9 right now. Since week 6, they have 3 wins, against Jimmy Clausen, Max Hall, and Derek Anderson. Their other three wins were against an early season form Chargers team, a slumping Bears team, and the San Francisco 49ers.

All of their 9 losses have been by 15 points or more. They have a differential of -117. The only teams who have worse differentials, Denver, Buffalo, Arizona, and Carolina. Oh, and to make things worse, their starting quarterback hurt his back on a non-contact play in a meaningless game last week and is not expected to start this week. Instead, it will be Clipboard Jesus, Charlie Whitehurst.

20. Tennessee Titans 6-9

There have been many teams this year who have simply not shown up in a game and showed zero effort in an ugly loss, but the Titans’ effort in their 34-14 loss in Kansas City was sickening. Their offensive coordinator Mike Heimerdinger is there still doing his job despite battling cancer and undergoing chemo, yet this team is still not doing there job and playing at 100%. To quote Jim Mora “those are some sick, sick, sick people.” To quote Jim Mora again, “that was a horseshit performance.”

On another note, my favorite story of the week was Tennessee defensive end William Hayes suffering a concussion when an errant Kerry Collins pass hit him in the head on the sidelines. Now, I know what you’re thinking, concussions aren’t funny. Well Hayes and his teammates were also laughing about the whole situation. Plus, is there any better story that sums up the Titans season than that?

19. Washington Redskins 6-9

Oh, I guess Rex Grossman wasn’t the answer. Grossman was the 2^nd quarterback in 3 years (Kerry Collins) to complete fewer than 50% of his passes against a Jacksonville defense that ranks dead last in the league in YPA allowed. The Shanahans have absolutely screwed up here. If you bench McNabb, who the team gave a 5 year 78 million dollar extension and gave up a 2^nd and 3^rd rounder for back in April, you better be damn sure the guy you’re benching him for is a franchise quarterback.

I know McNabb isn’t having the best year, but he’s better than Grossman and he’s still at least a top 20 NFL quarterback, something you can’t say about Grossman. He might be having a pretty decent year if he had anymore talent in the receiving corps and a better offensive line. Now they’ve angered him and will have to try to trade him away or release him and eat his salary, something they’ll already have to do with Albert Haynesworth likely, and they still don’t have a quarterback. I mean even Jason Campbell would have been better than Rex Grossman.

18. Miami Dolphins 7-8

One of the most inexplicable stats this season has to be the Dolphins’ 1-7 home record. How can a team go 6-1 on the road and 1-7 at home? Aren’t you supposed to be better at home? This makes no sense. Some teams are poor roads teams because they are young, which makes sense, but a bad home team? Huh? I have no explanation for that.

Also, I disagree that Tony Sparano should be fired. His name is being mentioned as on the chopping block after a second straight losing season, despite all of the promise this team supposedly had before the season. You have to remember this, Sparano took over a 1-15 team and has a 25-22 record as their coach since then. Also, Bill Parcells thinks highly of him. I know Parcells is gone from the organization, but that certainly doesn’t mean the Tuna’s approval is a bad thing.

17. Oakland Raiders 7-8

The Raiders have an opportunity to complete an improbable 8-8 season with a win next week, for the first time since 2003, and they also have the opportunity, with a win next week, to complete an even more improbable 6-0 season in the division, a 6-0 division record even more improbable than the Bengals’ in 2009. Even both improbable than those two is the improbability of the two combined. 6-0 in the division and only 8-8 overall? That doesn’t happen very often.

16. St. Louis Rams 7-8

The Rams got back on track last week against the 49ers, especially Sam Bradford, who bounced back from a two game stretch in which he went 39 for 75 for 412 yards, no touchdowns, and 4 picks with a 28 for 37 for 292 yards, a touchdown, and no picks against the 49ers. This is very good news for the Rams, who eliminated the 49ers in the process, as they now have the momentum heading into the equivilant of the NFL’s version of the NCAA tournament’s 64 vs. 65 play in game, against the Seahawks in Seattle.

The Seahawks, meanwhile, are coming off of a 38-15 loss to the Buccaneers, in which Matt Hasselbeck hurt his lower back and hip running into the endzone untouched. Now they are expected to start Charlie Whitehurst against the Rams. The same Charlie Whitehurst who lost 41-7 to the Giants at home earlier this year and was unable to move the ball at all in the Tampa Bay game.

15. Jacksonville Jaguars 8-7

Once again, the Jaguars fell flat on their faces against a non-divisional opponent and now they face a must win game against the Texans without David Garrard and Maurice Jones Drew. In addition to a win over the Texans, they also need the Colts to lose to the Titans, so it’s likely that the Jaguars (who two weeks ago were a win over the Colts from clinching the playoffs) will fail to make the playoffs this year. I find this hillarious because three weeks ago the whole Thursday Night Football crew (non-special edition) sat there and buried the Colts, while I screamed at the television.

14. San Diego Chargers 8-7

For the first time in the Philip Rivers/Norv Turner era, the Chargers were unable to sleepwalk through the first 2 months of the season and then turn it on starting on November 1^st and still make the playoffs. This year they simply sleptwalked through the entire season. They got complacent and just assumed they could turn it on when it matters (@ Cincinnati, vs. Oakland), and thus were unable to.

Norv Turner has to be fired after this. This team is simply too talented to not make the playoffs and they have never once in the Norv Turner era ever started a season well. Unfortunately for the Chargers, financial reasons have forced the Chargers to declare Norv’s job safe. Though sometimes front offices lie or change their mind, it looks like Norv will be back, bad news for this team.

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 9-6

I think it’s fairly obvious that the Buccaneers’ defense sucks. They let Matt Hasselbeck march his team straight down the field before he got hurt, ironically, while running in untouched for the score. Before that, they let Drew Stanton go 23 for 37 for 252 yards and a score week 15 and Donovan McNabb go 22 for 35 for 228 yards and 2 scores week 14. The only reason Charlie Whitehurst couldn’t do anything against them is, well, Charlie Whitehurst sucks. Their defense is really missing key contributors such as Aqib Talib, Gerald McCoy, Cody Grimm, Brian Price, and Tanard Jackson right now.

Unfortunately, their offense is making up for it. Josh Freeman is coming off of a career day, 21 for 26 for 5 scores against the Seahawks, and LeGarrette Blount also rushed for 164 yards on 18 carries in that one. Blount, the talented undrafted rookie who made one huge mistake last season, is really proving his doubters wrong, averaging 5.2 yards per carry and giving this offense a second dimension in the process.

They’re probably not a playoff team this year, needing to beat New Orleans, the Giants to lose to the Redskins, and the Packers to lose to the Bears to make the playoffs, but they have an extremely bright future with their 2^nd rookie quarterback, their rookie running back, and don’t forget about rookie receiver Mike Williams (another talented player with a troubled past). Williams has 61 catches for 924 yards and 10 scores this season as a rookie. They need to build their defense, but this is a talented team.

12. New York Giants 9-6

Another year another New York Giants collapse. This team no longer controls their own destiny after getting blown out in Lambeau last week 45-17, giving up 515 yards of offense and turning the ball over 6 times (never a winning combination). With 8 minutes left in the Eagles game and up 31-10, this team looked poised to finally have a strong second half and take control of the division. Now, they need to beat the Redskins in Washington this week and the Packers to lose to the Bears to make the playoffs, despite their 6-2 start.

The Philadelphia game collapse and the Lambeau beatdown weren’t the only isolated incidents of their second half swoon. They were dominated in the Jacksonville game, before coming back to win. They also lost to Philadelphia on a different occasion and to Dallas. Their only other two second half wins, other than the Jacksonville win, were against Minnesota and Washington, who simply didn’t show up in those games.

The cause of their second half swoon (and the reason why I haven’t believed in this team all season) is nothing different than mistakes they’ve made in the past, giving up big plays on defense, something that plagued this team all last season, especially in the second half when they went from 5-0 to 8-8 and out of the playoffs, and turnovers, something that’s plagued this team all season. They actually lead the league in turnovers with 41. In second place are the 6-9 Vikings with 36.

Second half swoons are nothing new to this team. I mentioned last year, but in 2008 they started 11-1 before they fell to 12-4 and lost in the first round of the playoffs. In 2006, they started 6-2 before falling to 8-8 and losing in the first round of the playoffs. In 2004, they started 5-2 with veteran Kurt Warner, before falling to 5-4, benching Warner for rookie Eli Manning, and then finishing a mere 6-10. Hell, even the year they won the Super Bowl they started 6-2 before falling to 10-6. They obviously eventually rebounded, but still, the swoon was alive that year.

In fact, the only year they didn’t swoon in the second half in the Tom Coughlin era was 2005 and everytime they swooned, the root cause was turnovers, and big plays allowed on defense. I think Tom Coughlin’s run out of chances. This is a talented playoff team and after (assuming they don’t make it this year) missing it for two straight years, the blame has to fall on Coughlin.

11. Kansas City Chiefs 10-5

I’ve doubted them almost all year (except for last week when I finally declared that this team could win the division), but I would like to congratulate the Kansas City Chiefs on winning the AFC West and holding off the San Diego Chargers (who kind of shot themselves in the foot many, many times). Matt Cassel’s strong statistical season may have been the result of a relatively weak schedule and one of the league’s strongest running games to take the pressure off of him, but there’s still no denying that Cassel’s 7.2 YPA, 60.2% completion percentage, and 27-5 TD-INT ratio are impressive. Equally impressive is that he’s 39 for 63 for 498 yards, 4 touchdowns, and 1 pick since returning from an appendectomy. The Chiefs were victorous in both of those games.

It’ll be interesting to see what Cassel can do in the first round of the playoffs. No matter if the Chiefs get the 3^rd seed (which they clinch with a win over the Raiders this week, or a Colts loss to the Titans) or the 4^th seed (which they get if they lose to the Raiders and the Colts beat the Titans), they will either face the Ravens or the Jets in the first round of the playoffs. Both of those teams have strong ground defenses and can limit what Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones do, forcing Cassel to beat them deep. I don’t like Cassel’s chances in that situation, but then again, I didn’t pick this team to win the division until last week either, so I’ve been wrong before.

10. New York Jets 10-5

I am not a Jets fan. I am a Patriots fan and as one it is my duty to hate the Jets. However, I am going to stand up for Rex Ryan this week (I actually secretly think Rex Ryan seems like a cool guy). This week, a video has surfaced around the internet of Rex Ryan’s wife shooting a sensual foot video, with what sounded like Rex Ryan’s voice in the background. Ryan hasn’t said anything in the past week like, that wasn’t me, so we can only assume it was him.

My point, I don’t care. He’s a football coach. This doesn’t effect the type of football coach, or even the type of person he is. All it says is what he enjoys in the bedroom. In fact, if anything, we should applaud Rex for this one. He’s been married for 23 years and is still into his wife. Good for him. It might not necessarily be normal, but that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. I think we need to cut Rex some slack with this one.

Now onto some football, this team’s in trouble. How do you allow 38 points to the Bears in cold weather? Isn’t this supposed to be the best defense in the league? Their offense certainly isn’t good enough to support the team without a strong effort by the defense. They may have almost won last week, but this isn’t a team that wins if they allow 30+. The games they win are defensive games, like their impressive 22-17 victory over the Steelers week 15. If their defense continues to struggle, they’re in trouble.

9. Philadelphia Eagles 10-5

The Philadelphia Eagles fell flat on their faces last week, scoring the fewest points in a Michael Vick start this year, in a 24-14 loss to Joe Webb and the Minnesota Vikings. Even worse, the Vikings provided a blueprint on how to beat the Eagles. If you can get after the quarterback, you can win. The offensive line is terrible and if you can get to Vick, he is very prone to fumbling.

The Eagles were in a good position, with the Falcons falling, to become the favorites in the NFC. Now, I think they’ll have a lot of trouble getting out of the first round with the Green Bay Packers expected to be their first round opponent. Bad week.

On another note, I’m sure you heard about the Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie getting a call from President Obama congratulating him for giving Vick a second chance saying “released prisoners rarely receive a level playing field” referring to how they struggle to find out after being released. Yeah there’s a reason for that. They were in prison. Apparently now it’s bad to discriminate against criminals in job hiring.

Also I find it interesting that this call comes now. Lurie signed Vick over a year ago. The timing of the call wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Vick is playing well would it? I’m willing to bet that call never comes if Vick was a backup like he was last year.

Finally, I’d like to comment on Tucker Carlson saying that Vick should have been executed. I don’t like Vick at all, but this guy is taking it way too far. He’s making Vick haters like me look bad. I don’t agree with that this guy said at all. I happen to think that no one should ever be executed for anything (it’s proven that it doesn’t reduce crime), but certainly not for dogfighting (even though I hate Vick for his actions). 

8. Chicago Bears 11-4

The Bears needed a first round bye more than any other team. The reason for that is simple. They have the talent to beat anyone in the NFC on any given Sunday, but they also have the potential to self destruct on any given Sunday. With a first round bye, they only have to win 3 games instead of 4 to win the Super Bowl, meaning less chances for them to self destruct.

7. Baltimore Ravens 11-4

The Ravens offense took a step back from where it was during the New Orleans game last week against the Browns, but they may have been because a mere 10 points and 3 picks by Colt McCoy and the Browns offense made offensive efficiency unnecessary. We’ve seen this offense be good when it needs to be. Last week, the defense showed major talent, with 3 picks and stuffing one of the league’s best runners, Peyton Hillis, for 35 yards on 12 carries. For a run defense that’s been good, but not as good as it has been in the past, that was huge.

6. Indianapolis Colts 9-6

An ESPN poll says that 57% of Sportsnation doesn’t consider the Colts legitimate contenders. I am part of that 43% minority. This team still has Peyton Manning and Manning can still get the job done. The also won’t be able to rest their starters this week with the playoffs not clinched yet, so they will have momentum going into the playoffs, unlike most years when they take their foot off the gas weeks 16 and 17.

In fact, I think if any teams is going to beat the Patriots in the playoffs before the Super Bowl, it will be the Colts. First, the Colts almost won in Foxboro earlier this year. Second, they are the only other AFC playoff team that can score enough to win. You can’t hold the Pats under 30. No one can. No one has since week 8 and that includes the Steelers, the Jets, and the Bears, 3 very good defenses. You have to fight fire with fire with this team and the Colts are the only team in the AFC that can do that.

5. Atlanta Falcons 12-3

This was a terrible loss by the Falcons. Opposing teams will no longer fear the Georgia Dome. They also win a lot of close games, but this team they were unable to. I think the Packers and the Saints are better than the Falcons in the NFC right here. The Packers lost in Atlanta, but it was close and could have gone either way. The Packers are on a roll right now and I think would win a rematch. I would have said the Eagles were better too, but they decided to fall flat on their faces as well.

The Falcons were simply too conservative and careful against the Saints. They were trying not to lose rather than win, which is proven to not work in the NFL (or, in most situations, in life). They play way too passively and they have all year, only now it’s starting to backfire. Down 3 they decided to punt with about 2:40 left in the game, rather than going for it on 4th, which, barring the Saints’ amazing offense going 3 and out, was probably their only chance to win. The Saints didn’t go 3 and out and the Falcons didn’t win. 

4. Green Bay Packers 9-6

I mentioned Green Bay’s roll in Atlanta’s write up, but I’ll expand that that roll here. They haven’t lost a game by more than 4 points all season, not even without Aaron Rodgers to the Patriots in Foxboro. Their point differential of +141 is the best in the entire NFC and 2^nd only to the Patriots in the league. They’re coming off a game in which they had 515 yards of total offense.

This was my Super Bowl pick to start the year and I still have a shot to be right (though as a Pats fan, I’d prefer to be wrong). I think they would win in a rematch with the Falcons in Atlanta. I think they’d have a shot at beating New Orleans in New Orleans, but I’d give the defending champs the edge in that one.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers 11-4

Their defense is banged up right now, especially Troy Polamalu, but they can clinch a first round bye with a win over the lowly Browns this week, giving them time to rest up. This is still a dangerous team in the playoffs. Big Ben has two Super Bowl and this defense is still elite. I don’t think they can beat the Patriots simply because I don’t think they can score the 30+ necessary to win that game, but if any defense is going to slow that team down, it’s this one.

2. New Orleans Saints 11-4

The defending Super Bowl champs are my NFC favorites right now. They are the only team to win in Atlanta this year and I think they have the best shot of doing it again. As the 5^th seed, they’d probably face the NFC West “winner” in the first round, which should be a cakewalk game. Then they’d have to go into either Chicago or Atlanta and I think they’d win both of those games. The team I see them having the most trouble with is Green Bay, but a matchup with Green Bay would be in New Orleans and that Superdome advantage is huge.

On another note, my second favorite story of the week was Remi Ayodele saying that he “pissed on the Falcons’ logo” after the Saints victory in New Orleans last week. We have no way of confirming this, so I’ll just assume it was true. This has to be one of the stupidest moves by an NFL player on the field in a while and if he didn’t do it and lied about it, it’s even stupider.

You do something like that when you’re sure you’ve played that team was the last time this season. These two teams could easily meet again in the playoffs and the Falcons will now have added motivation to crush the Saints and if they do, Ayodele just looks like an idiot. Remember 2008 when the Titans stepped on the Steelers’ “terrible towels” after a regular season victory over the Steelers, only to have the Steelers crush them in the playoffs and go on to win the Super Bowl. Whoops!

And if he lied about it and didn’t actually do it, that’s even stupider. Now he’s given the Falcons added motivation without actually getting to do something fun like peeing on the Falcons’ logo. Either way, this wasn’t a smart move now. That’s something you do after you’ve eliminated them. 

1. New England Patriots 13-2

Tom Brady is the league’s MVP. Bill Belicheck is the league’s coach of the year. The New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl. Brady has only thrown 4 picks this season in 476 attempts. He hasn’t thrown a pick in 319 attempts and his last pick was on a Hail Mary at the end of the half. He’s thrown 25 touchdown since his last pick. He’s played 15 games this year, and thrown no picks in 13 of them. He has 8 straight games of 2+ touchdowns and no picks, shattering Don Meredith’s record of 6.

He has 34 touchdowns and 4 picks on the season. He might not throw for 4000 yards (he needs 299 against Miami to do so), but yards are very overrated as a stat. He doesn’t need to throw for a ton of yards to score because he’s that efficient.

He has led his team to 7 straight games of 30+ with a running game that is maybe slightly above average at best. His top receivers are someone that sub .500 Seattle didn’t even want, two rookie tight ends, a slot receiver coming off of major knee surgery, and a running back who was cut by the Jets in the preseason. Oh, and he’s the quarterback of the team with the best record.

The Patriots have allowed 5614 yards of offense and have accumulated 5318 yards of offense. I haven’t fact checked this or anything, but I doubt there are many 13+ win teams that allow more yards than they produce. But that’s just the type of team this is (and remember yards are overrated). They are bend, but don’t break on defense, and efficient on offense. By contrast, the San Diego Chargers have the 2^nd most yards produced and the fewest yards allowed, a difference of 1874 between. They aren’t going to make the playoffs.

They are averaging 32 points per game and have scored 30+ in 7 straight. They have the league’s best quarterback and the league’s best coach, a winning combination that already has 3 rings and 4 Super Bowl appearances. They have gashed plenty of good defenses this year, including the Jets (11th in scoring defense) for 45, the Packers (2^nd in scoring defense) for 31, the Steelers (1^st in scoring defense) for 39, and the Bears (4^th in scoring defense) for 36.

They’ve only turned the ball over 9 times this season in 15 games. The record for a single season is 12, in a strike shortened season. They have gone 7 games without a turnover, shattering the previous record. The reason they can produce so few yards and still produce points is because they’re so careful with the ball. 

Assuming the Colts make the playoffs, the Patriots have beaten every single AFC playoff team at least once, with a combined record of 5-1 (a week 2 loss to the Jets) against them. They haven’t beaten the Chiefs, but they haven’t played them either. They’ve also beaten the Chargers, the Packers, and the Bears.

Finally, this brings us to the man in charge of it all. BB. Bill Belicheck. The mastermind. He’s done it again. This team wasn’t supposed to be the best team in the league this year. They weren’t supposed to do all of the amazing things they did. For the most part, Brady wasn’t supposed to either. Brady was supposed to be washed up, a celebrity with Justin Bieber hair that didn’t care about football. This team as supposed to be injured (no Ty Warren, no Leigh Bodden since the preseason) and very inexperienced to begin with. The Jets and Dolphins were supposed to be gaining on them or even better than them. Now look at them.